A Dad of His Own Read online

  ‘So are you going to stay the whole month, or do we have to find someone else to step in?’ Nell asked, but before Anna could answer she went on, ‘Tessa and I could stay at a pinch, but not for long as we have an elderly cat who wouldn’t like it at all. He’s only happy in our parents’ house or ours, and he’s too old to be left with anyone else.’

  Anna had got the go-ahead to stay the month from the schools and her private students before they left London, but she’d thought she`d make the final decision when she’d seen the set-up; but seeing how much Freddie loved the open air she’d decided to stay the whole month. ‘Yes,’ she said. ‘We will stay, it’s so good for Freddie to be in the fresh air and we’ve met such lovely people here.’

  ‘Well, that’s a relief.’ Nell gave her a broad smile. ‘What’s not to like, a warm little flat right inside the castle – not many people get to stay in a real castle. And the village is lovely, or was before the flood, but it will be again. It was badly bombed in the war, though you’d never know now.’

  The more she talked, the more Anna realised how much Nell loved the castle as if it were her own and how angry and upset she and indeed Luke, who joined in the conversation, were at the damage the flood had caused to the village, which could have been avoided if the river had been managed properly.

  After the main course was finished, everyone moved round, so they had someone different beside them. Anna, who was enjoying sitting between Luke, who kept leaning close to her when he spoke as the noise in the room was quite loud at times, and Nell and her stories of the castle, felt disappointed having to start afresh with two new people.

  Julius appeared on one side of her and Victor was to sit on the other, though he was busy grappling with a huge Christmas pudding and a bottle of brandy.

  ‘What would you and Freddie be doing for Christmas if you hadn’t come here?’ Julius asked her.

  ‘We’d probably be in the country, near Bristol, with my brother’s family, and our parents,’ she said. ‘We love it there, but there’s quite a squash this year as both sets of parents are staying, so it’s great that Freddie and I came here.’

  ‘We are so glad to have you to stand in for Philly and Sidney,’ he said. He looked tired. Though his face was brown from his skiing trip, there were dark rings under his eyes and she felt sorry for him having so much to cope with and trying to keep everyone happy. He went on, ‘I think, despite everything, people are determined to have a good time this Christmas, so I hope you and Freddie are not missing your family too much’. His smile was warm, and she felt drawn to him, though she warned herself that a man like him was surely paired up with someone.

  ‘At least the castle is safe and the wedding on the 5th doesn’t have to be cancelled,’ she said for something to say. ‘Lucy’s going to do the cake in the flat; bring it over after Christmas. Freddie and I won’t be cooking any sophisticated meals, so she can set everything up on the kitchen table there.’

  ‘Oh, that’s good of you, Anna,’ he said with feeling. ‘I would have suggested this kitchen here, but Jenny needs it for the wedding dinner.’ He glanced across the table at the dark-haired woman who was laughing at something Simon had said while Cathie glowered at her. ‘Did you meet Jenny?’

  ‘Yes, briefly before lunch,’ she said before turning to check on Freddie. There were a couple of young girls sitting with him, and he seemed to be having fun with them.

  ‘Freddie looks happy,’ Julius said, noticing her action. He went on to tell Anna that there was usually a tea party held in the Partridge on Boxing Day for the very smallest members of the community, though this year it had to be shelved. ‘It’s a pity, but there it is,’ he said. ‘I think a lot of very young children might be scared coming down here in the bowels of the castle for tea. The next thing will be the Easter egg hunt in the castle grounds. I hope the damage from the flood will be sorted by then.’

  Anna looked over towards Freddie once more, who was now showing the girls the finger puppets he’d got in his stocking that morning, waggling his fingers together as if the small people were dancing.

  As she looked round the table, it occurred to Anna that, despite the castle staff having been invited to bring their other halves, neither Luke, Simon or Julius had brought anyone with them, although she couldn’t be completely sure. She suspected that Cathie had laid claim to Simon, given her stand-offish manner towards her, but Anna didn’t know if they were in a relationship or if it were just wishful thinking on Cathie’s part. The way Cathie prowled round Simon, darting murderous looks at any woman who looked his way, would suggest they were involved. It didn’t seem that Luke had brought anyone with him, but he was such an attractive, friendly person, there was sure to be someone, somewhere for him. Jenny and Julius seemed fond of each other, but it was difficult to know if they were a couple or just good mates, or possibly lovers once and their relationship had run its course leaving them with fond memories.

  A sudden lull came in the conversation and she overheard one of the little girls next to Freddie say loudly, ‘I got an iPad for Christmas, I’ve been wanting one for ages, what did you get, Freddie?’

  Anna tried to catch his eye to send him a frantic message not to say he wanted a dad, but Freddie wasn’t looking her way. Everyone was watching the children, some amused, others disinterested.

  Anna said quickly, ‘We haven’t opened all our presents yet, we’re going to do it after this.’

  ‘Oh, I’ve opened all mine. What do you want, Freddie?’ the annoying child persisted.

  Then Freddie looked across at her and she shook her head, trying to throw him a warning. He took a deep breath, aware now that he’d got most people’s attention. ‘I want something that you can’t wrap up and Mum says is very difficult to find.’

  ‘Sounds like a riddle,’ Simon said.

  ‘How intriguing,’ Julius smiled at her, ‘whatever is it?’

  Anna felt herself blushing, how could she tell him, tell anyone here?

  To her relief, Victor came over and asked Julius to come into the kitchen. She heard him whisper ‘mice’, and Julius quickly excused himself and hurried after Victor.

  Jade lifted the dish holding the pudding, now alight from the brandy, and started to hurry round the room so everyone could take a slice before the blue flames went out. The excitement was all focused on its journey round the table, leaving Anna to breathe a sigh of relief that the attention had been diverted from her and Freddie.

  Fourteen

  The lunch went on until almost 5 o’clock. It had all been wonderful and Anna felt she’d never eat again. People drifted away from the table and paired up with others. Freddie was chasing the other children round in the many rooms and passages away from the dining room and for a moment she stood alone watching everyone else chatting and laughing in the familiar way friends and colleagues do when they are together, especially after enjoying good food and wine. She was hit with a pang of loneliness, wishing she were among the rough and tumble of her family when, to her relief, Simon came up to her and asked if she’d enjoyed herself.

  ‘Yes, very much, and it was a delicious lunch.’ She warmed to him even more and realised she was being a bit foolish and shouldn’t feel left out. They were a good crowd here, and it was natural that they’d gossip together as she would if her friends and family were here. She missed her family – even though she’d talked to them this morning – but she didn’t regret her decision to spend Christmas here. She wondered how Daisy was getting on with her Victorian Christmas and the man she’d set her sights on. She’d heard nothing, so she assumed the hoped-for romance had taken off. She hadn’t liked to intrude, but also, she admitted, with the tragedy of the flood, she hadn’t got round to calling her.

  Cathie joined them, as Anna suspected she would. She looked very pretty, in a sparkly dress and long dangling earrings. It was hardly surprising that Cathie fancied Simon; he was kind as well as attractive.

  Anna smiled at her. ‘Did you enjoy the lunch, Ca
thie? I’m so glad we were able to have it here in the castle and it wasn’t cancelled because of the flood,’ she said cheerfully. ‘What other plans have you got for Christmas?’

  ‘There are various things going on,’ Cathie said vaguely, not looking at her though edging closer to Simon. ‘We might be going to a party with friends this evening and so will probably spend tomorrow in bed.’ She eyed Simon again, who was now waving at someone across the room.

  Anna wondered if they’d be in the same bed, or if Simon were sleeping in the castle tonight she’d come back here to be with him.

  ‘So, how long are you staying here?’ Cathie asked her rather in the tone of a police officer interrogating her. ‘People say you might be leaving after the New Year.’

  No doubt Cathie hoped that was true, but Anna explained that she’d decided to stay on. ‘It’s so lovely for Freddie to have all this freedom from the busy roads and pollution in London.’

  ‘Don’t you miss your home and family?’ Cathie said with obvious disappointment. ‘The country is so different to London.’

  ‘Of course, but it’s lovely to have a change,’ Anna said, feeling Cathie’s hostility coming off her like dry ice.

  ‘Excuse me a moment, Anna,’ Simon touched her shoulder before darting away, Cathie following him with her eyes, even standing on tiptoes to see where he’d gone among the crowd.

  Anna tried to think of a tactful way to ask if they were an item but struggled to find the words, not that it was her business anyway.

  In her experience she thought that when people first fell in love there was a sort of shininess about them, eyes locking, hands straying to touch an arm, a hand, as if to lay claim to each other. Later, couples became more separate, in public anyway, and it was often hard to work out, if you didn’t know, if they were good friends or lovers.

  Cathie soon made her excuses and headed off in Simon’s direction and, to Anna’s relief, Mattie came up with Jenny, whom she’d briefly met when she’d first arrived for lunch.

  ‘Jenny does all the catering for the castle, though she didn’t do the lunch, that’s Victor’s domain, but she’s got the wedding to do next week,’ Mattie said.

  ‘So how big is the wedding?’ Anna asked.

  ‘Not too big, thank goodness, around seventy people. Middle-aged couple, on the rebound apparently,’ Jenny said. ‘They’re a lovely couple so I hope it works out, my only concern is to make it a great day for them.’

  ‘I wonder, of all the weddings held here, how many have lasted,’ Mattie said. ‘It’s such a wonderful setting, so romantic, but marriage is more than the day isn’t it? Could even be the best bit of the relationship.’ She winked at Anna.

  ‘Oh, Mattie, don’t say that,’ Jenny scolded her with a smile. Someone waved at her and she said she must go but she hoped to see more of Anna while she was here, and Anna was left alone with Mattie.

  Mattie said, ‘Do you miss your family today? I do, though they are long gone.’

  ‘I do a bit, but it’s exciting to be here and Freddie loves it,’ Anna replied.

  ‘Does his father play a part in his life?’ Mattie asked her.

  Her question, gently asked, brought tears to Anna’s eyes. ‘He died in an accident before Freddie was born.’

  ‘Oh, my dear,’ Mattie put her hand on her arm. ‘I’m so sorry, I shouldn’t have asked, that must be very hard for you both.’

  ‘It’s OK, people often ask; think I’ve had some dramatic divorce or illicit love affair and been left with a child. But no, Gary was on a stag do with his mates in Ibiza. They were in a taxi with a drunken driver who drove into a lorry. He didn’t know I was pregnant, nor did I until some time later, we didn’t plan to have a child so soon.’

  ‘I’m so glad you have something left of him,’ Mattie said. ‘And Freddie’s a lovely boy, he’d be very proud of him.’

  ‘He would be, but Freddie…’ she paused. Mattie seemed so easy to talk to, but then she’d lived a long time, been through the war and no doubt suffered the loss of many friends, gone in their youth. She felt she could share the truth with Mattie. ‘His godmother asked him what he wanted for Christmas the other day, and he said a dad.’ Her eyes swam with tears. ‘We were all right being just the two of us and seeing my family and friends and sometimes Gary’s father and stepmother, who live in Switzerland, but now Freddie needs more than me and I understand that. My brother lives near Bristol with his family, and Freddie’s very fond of him, but with my work and everything it’s quite a trek for us, I have wondered whether it wouldn’t be a good idea to move there to be near him.’

  ‘Unless you met someone special,’ Mattie said. ‘You’re young and you can’t replace Freddie’s father, but there’s no need for you to stay alone all your life. I’m sure your husband wouldn’t expect you to.’

  ‘Perhaps not, but Freddie is my main priority now,’ she said.

  They were joined by Julius and then Jenny appeared beside him, saying, ‘All set then, everything OK, shall we be going?’

  For some ridiculous reason, Anna felt her spirits fall as she saw Julius smile at Jenny and take her arm. She scolded herself for her reaction. Of course, he had a girlfriend and she looked across the room at Simon, who was leaning close to Cathie, saying something, so did he. Only Luke, who she guessed was a little younger than either of them, seemed to be without a woman hanging off him, but perhaps he had one elsewhere. He was laughing uproariously with a couple of men his age, one of which she saw was the kindly Marcus who’d been so helpful to Mattie.

  Julius turned to her, ‘I’ve got to go now, but I’ll see you and Freddie again. Is there anything you need?’

  ‘No… I’m fine, thank you.’ She smiled a sort of ‘I don’t feel at all jealous that the most attractive men I’ve met here already seem to be paired up’ smile.

  However kind and welcoming everyone was she did not belong here. In fact, she was beginning to wonder where she did belong. In a few weeks she’d be gone from here, leaving barely a dent in this close-knit community. But it was not a day to dwell, it was Christmas Day and she had the best gift in Freddie.

  It was time to leave the party herself, she thought as she saw the room emptying. She asked Mattie if she’d like to come back to the flat for a cup of tea.

  ‘How kind, but no thank you, dear,’ Mattie said, her hat now a little skewed over her eye. ‘Dear Victor has given me a doggy bag of goodies which will last me for ages and all I want to do now is to go back to sleep in my large, comfy bed in the castle. I only have a couple more nights there, and I’m thoroughly enjoying it, it makes me feel quite regal,’ she joked. Then she spotted Everard, who was also staying in the castle, approaching them. He was wearing a hand-painted bow tie with Christmas puddings and holly on it.

  ‘Don’t you love his tie?’ Mattie said. ‘He’s an artist and sells his painted ties in the castle shop when it’s open in the spring.’

  ‘Very… festive,’ Anna said, wondering who bought such items.

  Everard bowed in her direction.

  ‘Ah, my escort to take me home,’ Mattie smiled at him and slipped her arm in his and they said goodbye.

  Anna was hit with a pang of loneliness, but she decided she’d ring her three best friends, Grania, Daisy and Francy, Freddie’s Godmothers, to wish them Happy Christmas and see how their day had gone.

  Her spirits lifted as she retrieved Freddie, who was quite tired now, having been up since dawn to open his stocking. They walked across the quadrangle to the flat. It was bitterly cold, and the few lights dotted about gleamed like gold in the dark. She held his hand tightly, though he could easily run on alone, but she just wanted to feel him close to her.

  Just as they’d got inside the flat and shut the door against the cold and the dark, her mobile rang; it was Grania.

  ‘I’ve had the most awful day with James and his ghastly children. I’m coming up to see you tomorrow to escape. I’ll sleep in a dungeon; anywhere would be better than here.’


  Fifteen

  Anna stood transfixed in the hall, her mobile clamped to her ear while Grania poured out her story. After a difficult marriage, she’d divorced and married James and this was her first Christmas without her own children and with her stepdaughters.

  Anna was aware that Freddie was frantic to open the rest of his presents.

  ‘Oh, Grania, I’m so sorry. Come, of course, tell me all then, but we’ve just got back from lunch in the castle and…’

  ‘In the castle?’ Grania’s voice rose in surprise. ‘I thought you’d be in a little bungalow or somewhere hidden away on the estate.’

  ‘No, we live in a flat in the castle itself, to the left of the courtyard when you come over the drawbridge, and we had lunch in the castle. Long story, will tell you when you get here.’ Anna felt rather exhausted and couldn’t explain everything just now. ‘So looking forward to seeing you tomorrow.’ She managed to end the call having briefly warned Grania about the flood, and joined Freddie in the living room. ‘That was Grania; she’s coming to stay tomorrow, just for a day or two. That will be fun, won’t it?’ she said, though thinking of it she wondered if she really did want her here. Much as she loved her, Grania could be quite bossy and Anna hoped she wouldn’t be tiresome and try to suss out a dad for Freddie.

  They both sat on the floor under the Christmas tree and opened their presents. Freddie, to his delight, had a lot more Lego, and he’d made Anna a flowerpot out of clay at school; it was painted red and slightly lopsided and she loved it.

  ‘We’ll buy a plant when the shops open again; it will look wonderful,’ she kissed him and he giggled with delight.

  After Freddie spent a little time playing with his presents, he was ready for bed and Anna was about to read to him when the doorbell went.

  ‘Who’s that?’ Freddie looked alarmed.

  ‘Could be someone who’s sleeping in the castle, forgotten their key or something,’ she said with more bravado than she felt. She opened the door cautiously and Felix dashed in.