A Dad of His Own Page 17

  They’d kissed, so what? Tomorrow, after the night’s revelries, everyone would feel jaded and a little sheepish.

  She tossed and turned stressing about everything, the pressures of a new year and a fresh slate overwhelming her. Should she up sticks and move close to Robert, though how could she leave the children she taught? Perhaps it would be best if she left the castle now, she was stabbed with an intense feeling of homesickness. She had been told the most important part to cover for Philly and Sidney was the Christmas and New Year time, but after that, when the holiday period was over and everyone was back at work, it would surely be easy enough for someone else to step in? If she and Freddie stayed another three days or so, surely people could be found for the last two weeks?

  But what would Freddie think of her decision? He loved the freedom here, being able to run out and play in the quadrangle, which only had the occasional car coming up, unlike London with its constant flow of traffic; though there’d surely be much more activity to prepare for the wedding in a few days’ time, so he’d have to take care. The wedding – hadn’t she promised Julius she’d join them to mingle about among the guests to keep an eye out for any trouble? Would it really matter if she weren’t there?

  She got up, dressed and drank copious cups of coffee. She and Freddie were the only people here on the hill in this vast castle and now, in the mood she was in, it all seemed too quiet. She was so used to living in a street with the constant hum of the traffic and the planes overhead that the silence here unsettled her. Her head was buzzing, overly caffeinated and consumed with indecision. She was relieved when Freddie woke up and trailed into the living room, his hair on end.

  ‘I didn’t need to come back, I could have stayed with Benny,’ he greeted her, grumpy and overtired. He threw himself on to the sofa and reached for the remote control.

  ‘It was very kind of Julius to bring us back, and Benny’s family are probably exhausted after the party. Shall I boil you an egg for breakfast?’ She tried to sound cheerful not wanting to provoke an argument or indeed have television so early.

  There was a slight row over that, but at last she got him to sit down and have some toast.

  Lucy rang an hour or so later and said would they like to join a few of them for a walk before it got dark, Benny was coming and possibly his sisters, so he hoped Freddie would be there too. Anna agreed, which perked up Freddie, and they went down to the village, all meeting up outside Lucy’s shop, which looked damp and sad with the paintwork peeling and one of the windows cracked.

  Anna wondered if Julius would be there and how he would greet her. She’d decided on the walk down that she’d behave as if nothing more than a New Year’s kiss had happened and would not happen again, though she was probably making too much of it, anyway. It was the first passionate kiss she’d had since Gary’s death, so she was bound to think it more important than it was. But Julius was not there.

  Apart from Lucy, Colin and their children, the girls grumbling and moaning against the cold, there was Tessa and Nell and, to Freddie’s delight, Simon with Rusty on a lead, who he handed over to him, and Gail, her blond hair escaping from her fur hat, who said she was looking for interesting berries and leaves for her floral displays for the wedding.

  ‘Might you get a dog, Freddie seems to love them,’ Simon asked Anna as they found themselves walking side by side across some fields in a neighbouring farm where there were no signs of flooding. The earth beneath their feet was hard-ridged like corrugated iron.

  ‘It’s difficult in London as I’m out all day teaching, but maybe we will move away, perhaps to the country, this year,’ she said.

  ‘So you’re leaving London?’

  ‘I’m seriously thinking of moving near my brother. Freddie is so happy here in the open air,’ She watched him leading Rusty and running round with Benny, his face shining with happiness. Her morbid thoughts of scurrying home before the month was up were now firmly behind her. ‘Have you any children?’ she asked Simon, feeling she’d said enough about her own life.

  ‘Yes, I have a daughter,’ Simon said, to her surprise. ‘She’s only three and I go and visit when I can. Usual story,’ he smiled ruefully at her, ‘her mother and I probably should never have married, but she was pregnant and… well it didn’t last long. We’re great friends really as long as we don’t have to live together.’

  ‘I’m sorry,’ she said. ‘Does your daughter come here sometimes?’

  ‘No, not yet. I hope she’ll come and stay when she’s older, but just now it would be difficult keeping her safe while I work. It’s great for an older child, like Freddie, but she’s too young yet.’

  ‘I understand. So you didn’t see her at Christmas?’

  ‘No, she went with her mother to her grandparents in France, but we had an early Christmas together. But Freddie…’ he paused, ‘well, I’m so sorry about your story, his father being killed like that. But he’s a great lad and I see how he misses a father, or rather a close male figure, in his life now he is older, so moving near your brother sounds an ideal solution.’ They were walking together a short step from the others who seemed to be having a deep discussion – quite heated at times – about the flood damage and the incompetence of the local authority. His voice was gentle as he turned to face her. ‘What about you, do you have anyone special?’

  ‘No, I haven’t, I haven’t really thought about it with having Freddie to look after, juggling childcare with my job.’ She smiled, ‘But I feel so lucky to have Freddie, he is the most important thing in my life.’

  Before Simon could respond, Julius and Luke appeared, walking fast in unison over the rutted ground.

  ‘Hi,’ Luke greeted them, ‘I feel better now, thought I must come out and hoped I’d find you all going this way. I felt so rough when I woke up.’

  ‘Not surprised the amount you put back,’ Simon joked and the moment for confidences between them was broken.

  Julius smiled at her and made another joke about Luke and slotted in beside them, next to Simon, discussing some steps they should take with the council over the flood damage.

  Freddie, closely followed by Benny, ran back to them with Rusty on the lead.

  It was getting colder, the day drawing in, the sky pewter grey. They all decided to turn back.

  ‘’Bout time too, I’m almost frozen to the ground,’ one of Lucy’s girls grumbled, hunching into her coat, her hands deep in her pockets.

  They walked down the other side of the field nearer to a bend in the river, the ground was muddy here and Anna almost slipped over. Simon caught her arm and even when she had righted herself he kept hold of it, linking it in his and they walked back together like that. It was a comforting feeling being so close to him, their steps in time with each other even on the rough ground. Perhaps he felt an affinity with her now he had told her about his daughter.

  They took a shortcut back and reached a stile. Simon jumped over and stayed there ready to help her, then Tessa and Nell over, though they brushed him off being quite capable of getting over by themselves.

  Rusty, not sure about the stile, excitedly broke free from Freddie, Benny jumped to catch him but failed and Rusty bolted away. Freddie shrieked and Simon jumped back over the stile, calling his dog back, but Rusty seemed not to hear and kept on running.

  ‘I didn’t mean to let him go,’ Freddie said in a shocked voice.

  ‘Don’t worry,’ Julius said to him, ‘Simon will get him back, he’ll soon learn to come when he’s called.’

  Anna felt concerned that the little dog seemed to have no notion of obedience though the rest of the group went on without Simon and Rusty, and Luke went back to help him, telling Freddie who wanted to go back too not to worry, Rusty would soon be caught.

  Freddie slipped his hand in Anna’s and walked back with her. The joy in the responsibility he’d felt leading Rusty now turned into tiredness and he dragged his feet until Benny said, ‘Race you,’ and the two boys sped off across the grassy field, throu
gh the trees, only stopping when they reached the road. Looking back, they were relieved to see Simon and Luke coming behind them with Rusty trotting beside them.

  ‘All this open space must be wonderful for him after London,’ Julius said, now walking beside her with Tessa on her other side. ‘Pity you can’t stay here.’

  ‘I’ve got to get back to my job, I’ve a classroom of small children waiting for me,’ she said to him.

  ‘We have plenty of schools here,’ Julius said lightly, his glance warm on her face, for a moment making her wish they could stay here with all the pleasant people they’d met and the beauty of the countryside, but that was just wishful thinking and their time was nearly up.

  Twenty-Eight

  The next morning, Lucy brought Benny with her to the flat to put the last finishing touches to the wedding cake, arranging the flowers around the trelliswork. The boys had promised not to go into the kitchen to disturb her and they played happily in the living room with Freddie’s Lego.

  ‘Your cake’s just beautiful,’ Anna was full of admiration for Lucy’s skill, two gleaming white tiers of cake scattered with coloured sugar flowers twisted through the icing latticework as if they were growing there.

  ‘Hope so, it took long enough,’ Lucy said. ‘I’ll have it out of here and stored in the castle by tomorrow,’ she smiled at her, ‘give you back your kitchen table.’

  ‘Don’t worry, it’s been inspirational watching you work,’ Anna said, ‘not that I’m planning to try it anytime soon. Have you been to a wedding in the castle… I don’t mean as a guest, but just to hover about?’ Anna went on, ‘Only Julius asked if I’d like to do it as Sidney and Philly do, though I’d have to ask if you could have Freddie for the night. There’s no pressure on me having to be there, so if it’s not possible, don’t worry about it. I feel I owe you masses of play dates which I’m determined to make up.’

  ‘Don’t be silly, Benny’s loved having Freddie around. And, sure, we can have him,’ Lucy said, ‘you must go while you’re here and have the chance.’

  ‘Thanks so much, Simon showed me the dining room when I went with him and Marian to find rooms during the flood, so I can imagine how wonderful it looks with the table laid up and everything.’

  ‘I haven’t been to a wedding, but I’ve seen how spectacular the main rooms look,’ Lucy said. ‘Benny would love to have Freddie to stay again, they’ve really hit it off, haven’t they, so there’s no problem there.’

  ‘Thanks. So do most of the people who work here go to keep an eye out for any trouble?’ Anna asked.

  ‘Quite a few do, but apparently this couple are older, and it’s the second time around for both of them, so it might be a less raucous affair, but who knows?’ Lucy giggled. ‘Rather a sweet story really, they fell in love at university, then drifted apart, married other people which didn’t work out and then by chance met up again. So I don’t expect anything terrible will happen.’

  ‘Have terrible things happened?’ Anna was intrigued.

  ‘Over the years, yes, people drunk falling against things, flicking stuff at the pictures, throwing up even. Small, precious things are put away in case someone lifts them. You just have to watch people don’t go upstairs, roam about, I suppose,’ she said. ‘But I’m sure it will be fine, and you’ll have a great time.’

  ‘I’ll tell Julius that I’ll do it then, but promise to let me know if something else comes up and you can’t have Freddie. I’m sure Julius would understand if I couldn’t do it at the last minute,’ Anna said, feeling a little excited now.

  ‘Don’t worry, nothing much happens in January, it will be fine,’ Lucy said. ‘Well, better get home to bake the last few of those Gateaux des Rois, nearly done them all now, it’s too late for any more orders,’ she said. ‘So, are you sure it’s all right to leave the wedding cake so it will be really dry before I take it into the castle tomorrow?’ She got up and rinsed her mug before putting it in the dishwasher. ‘And keep Benny a while longer?’

  ‘Of course, he can stay as long as he likes,’ she said.

  ‘If you can keep him until after tea that would be great,’ Lucy said, going into the living room to tell him.

  *

  It was near seven when Anna and the boys went out to the car to drop Benny home. Freddie wanted him to stay the night, but as they hadn’t got his night things, Anna said they’d arrange to do it another time. She bundled them into the car and was about to get in herself when she saw Nell, dressed in her coat and scarf, coming towards them.

  ‘Good timing, I’m on my way home and was about to knock on your door to see you about the wedding,’ Nell said. ‘Julius said you might do it and I’m sussing out numbers to be sure we have enough people to be there.’

  ‘Yes, I’d love to do it, Freddie can stay with Benny, it’s all arranged.’

  Nell laid her hand on her arm, ‘I’m so glad you’re coming, Anna, we’ll all be there and it’s so splendid, the rooms shown off as they should be, full of people enjoying themselves.’

  ‘I look forward to it, what time am I needed?’

  ‘The church service is at four. I don’t know if they will have photographs outside the church as it will be so dark then, unless they put up special lights which they sometimes do,’ Nell said, ‘So I would aim to be here at four or half past, I’ll let you know for sure, but I promise you won’t regret it.’ She lifted her arm in a farewell, going back to her car where Tessa was sat in the driver’s seat waiting for her.

  Anna got into her car and Freddie thrust her mobile at her. ‘It’s Daisy, she wants to talk to you.’

  ‘Thanks.’ She took the mobile from him and stood outside the car to talk to her. ‘Daisy, are you all right?’ she asked brightly. ‘Back home or still with your parents?’

  ‘Still in Scotland, I’m leaving tomorrow. I’m fine, you OK?’

  ‘Of course, why shouldn’t I be?’ Anna suspected that Daisy had not rung to discuss her well-being; she was fishing for something. Should she say she’d seen Simon on New Year’s Eve and as far as she knew he did not have some glamorous woman about him; except for Cathie of course. Though he might well have someone away from here; he had a little daughter for a start.

  ‘Just wondered. Francy’s just back and she’s about to ring you and see if you met anyone special at your New Year’s party,’ she said.

  Anna sighed, no doubt Daisy also wanted to know if she’d found a possible father for Freddie.

  ‘There are lots of lovely people around,’ she said, feeling a surge of warmth as she remembered Julius’s kiss on New Year’s night. A New Year’s kiss, she reminded herself firmly, that stood for nothing but goodwill. ‘Look, I’ll talk later, I’ve got to go and drop back a friend’s child.’

  ‘OK, I’ll let you go then,’ Daisy said reluctantly, before adding in a rush, ‘Were there people you knew at the party on New Year’s Eve? Julius, Luke and…’

  ‘Yes, they were all there; Julius saw me and Freddie home. He was on his way to another party,’ she said, guessing that Daisy really wanted to find out if Simon had brought someone special with him, but there wasn’t the time now. ‘Look, ring me later, we’ll have a catch-up then.’ The boys had started to fight, a friendly fight, but it was an excuse to ring off and she was freezing to death out here.

  She started the car and drove slowly down the hill to the village, thinking of Julius’s kiss. She must not build it up too much, they’d both had a little to drink and were in party mood; it was a warm and loving kiss, and it had awakened feelings in her she had supressed all this time, but it would be embarrassing and foolish to make anything of it. Though as her friends were pointing out, she was still young, was she really going to live the rest of her life alone? Julius’s kiss had stirred her emotions making her feel that perhaps one day she would find love again.

  Twenty-Nine

  The last touches were put on the floral arch the morning of the wedding on January 5th. It would be lit up leading to the main door in th
e castle.

  There was much activity going on with food and more flowers being delivered. Lucy’s beautiful cake was there; ready to put in pride of place. Anna took Freddie for a walk around the outside of the castle to keep him out of the way.

  The weather had been dry these last days though very cold, bringing talk of snow.

  ‘I hope it will snow, then Benny and I could build a huge snowman,’ Freddie said in excitement, jumping round her.

  ‘Well they have it up north so it might come here,’ Anna said, thinking how pretty the castle would look surrounded by snow.

  The plan Anna had made with Lucy was to take Freddie round for lunch, giving her time to get ready herself and be at the castle by four o’clock.

  When they got back to the flat, Freddie did his own packing, but when Anna felt the weight of his rucksack she asked him whatever he’d put in it.

  ‘My things to take to Benny.’

  She opened it and peered inside; almost every toy he’d brought here and had for Christmas, as well as his books and his pyjamas, were all packed. ‘You can’t take all this, and where’s your toothbrush and a change of pants and socks?’ she asked.

  ‘I forgot those,’ he said, going to fetch them, ‘but don’t take anything out, we need to play with them.’

  They finally reached a compromise and Anna took him to Lucy’s house.

  There was a lot of activity going on in the village to spruce it up after the flood and make sure there was an easy drive up to the castle from the church after the wedding.

  ‘You must tell us every detail about it,’ Lucy said, ‘what the bride wore, the flowers, food, everything. And can you take a photograph of my cake before everyone arrives? I haven’t had a chance to go up there today to do it, standing in one of those glorious rooms, but I like to have one of it before it’s cut.’ She handed her a small camera. ‘This is dead simple. I’ll show you how it works, or you could do it on your mobile if you’d rather,’ she said.