A Dad of His Own Read online

  Daisy sighed, ‘I know what you mean, Gary loved his bachelor life… well, not with other women but with his mates, and none of them had children then. To be truthful, I think he might have been bored by the pregnancy and baby bit, but he’d have loved him now, Freddie’s such a great companion.’

  ‘If he’d hung about,’ Anna said a bit sadly. ‘I don’t know why I’m thinking this now; I suppose it’s because Freddie said he wanted a dad for Christmas. It really hurt that I couldn’t give him that. Boys love doing things with their dads. I remember Robert and Dad going to football matches, bonding together doing male things. It’s a relationship you don’t have with your mother.’

  ‘I know, love, but families come in all sorts of shapes and sizes and he is much loved by all of us.’ Daisy gave her a hug. ‘We’ll never know how Gary would have coped, but I’d give him the benefit of the doubt,’ Daisy went on as Anna blew her nose. ‘I know Freddie wanted a dad for Christmas and Christmas has passed with no sign of one as far as I can see, but I… we all, to be truthful, think it is time you came out of purdah and went out on the hunt again.’ She giggled.

  ‘It sounds awful, dating sites, all that.’ Anna had been on a couple of dates though not alone but as part of a group – friends of friends – since Gary’s death but her heart wasn’t in it and they had come to nothing. She waited for Daisy to ask her about Simon, but she did not.

  If Grania were here she’d interrogate Daisy. Did she want to see Simon again, was she sure she cared for him and all the rest of it, but Anna decided she would say nothing. Daisy was leaving in the morning and for all they knew Simon and Cathie were an item or he was fixed with someone else. She would not interfere but leave it alone and see what happened, if it was meant to be, all would be well.

  The timer on the oven went off. The kitchen was filled with the warm aroma of sugar and brandy as Anna opened the oven to check the cakes. They were perfect, the pastry crust golden and shining with its sugar glaze. She and Daisy took them out and put them on the side to cool.

  ‘They look great, I wish we could eat them now,’ Daisy said. ‘I’d forgotten about them, I might make one while I’m with my parents, have it early like Lucy’s clients.’

  When the cakes had cooled enough, Anna and Daisy packed up the Gateaux des Rois in the boxes Lucy had left and went outside to the car to drive down to her.

  Daisy eagerly went ahead of Anna, glancing round the quadrangle no doubt hoping to see Simon. Under the dim lights they could see Luke and another man unloading various bits of wood and stacking them on the grass. Luke waved but was too far away to talk, Daisy waved back, though Anna could sense her disappointment that Simon was not with them.

  ‘I must think of something to make for Lucy for her party. I’ve left my recipe books behind and I’ve a whole section on cocktail food,’ Anna said as they started off down to the village.

  ‘Perhaps you’ll get an idea at the village shop, we could pop in now,’ Daisy said. ‘I often do baby Yorkshire puddings with slivers of roast beef on top or nuts baked in the oven with a sort of sweet spicy sauce.’

  ‘I remember, in fact I borrowed your nut recipe and gave a few bags out as little presents to Lucy and Mattie,’ Anna said, wondering if she could persuade Daisy to make something before she left. Though knowing Daisy, she might prefer to prowl round the estate hoping to come across Simon, so she didn’t mention it.

  They went to the shop and trawled the shelves, but apart from eggs, milk and cheese, bacon, and a few sorry-looking fruit and veg, there was no fresh meat or anything that inspired her.

  ‘You could do bacon wrapped around prunes,’ Daisy said, ‘or a quiche cut up in small pieces, or even tiny quiches you can just pop in your mouth.’

  ‘That’s a good idea,’ Anna agreed. She could cook them this evening, with any luck Daisy might help.

  Anna bought the ingredients and as they paid Mattie came in.

  ‘How lovely to see you,’ Mattie was obviously delighted. She wore a brown felt hat with some peacock feathers on the side. ‘And Daisy too. Have you heard if your uncle and aunt are having a good time?’

  ‘No, which probably means they are,’ Daisy said.

  ‘When are you going to Spain?’ Anna asked.

  ‘Next week. It’s all organised, Andalusia, can’t wait.’ Mattie went pink with excitement. ‘I always keep up with my old lovers, you just never know when they will come in useful again,’ Mattie said naughtily.

  ‘Can I get you something, Mattie?’ Mrs Petit asked rather primly, and laughing, Mattie asked for some cheese and helped herself to some cooking apples. ‘I’ll make a crumble, my favourite,’ she said, winking at Anna who struggled to hide her laughter. Mattie seemed to be having a far more exciting love life than those half her age, herself included.

  Anna gave Mattie a lift back up the road to Lucy’s house; she was staying in the self-contained annexe tacked on to the side of the house built of weathered stone to blend in with the older bricks of the main house.

  It was dark now and Anna longed for the days to grow longer. A light came on over the front door as they approached it.

  ‘I have my own key, so I’m self-sufficient,’ Mattie said, getting out of the car. ‘I hope to see you on New Year’s Eve, they seem to come round faster every year.’

  ‘They do.’ Anna carried her shopping bag for her, waiting while Mattie unlocked the door and went inside. Anna took in the small, neat hall uncluttered by general living detritus and wondered if Mattie felt lonely there, as it did not have the comforting feeling of home. Not like the cosy little cottage she’d had to leave behind. She was glad she was going to a warmer country and to stay with an old flame.

  Twenty-Four

  Daisy left to drive to Scotland after an early breakfast. As she went to her car parked in the quadrangle, Anna following behind with her overnight bag, Daisy glanced about, no doubt hoping that Simon would be there working on something. But the quadrangle was deserted with all the many windows in the castle winking back at them in the thin early sun.

  ‘Safe journey,’ Anna hugged her, ‘and come again if you can.’

  ‘Thanks, I might take you up on that.’ Daisy lingered a moment more before shoving her bag into the back of her car. Anna wondered if she might say something about Simon, but she did not. With one more glance towards the arch leading to the road outside, she hugged Anna, saying; ‘I’ll text when I get there. Happy New Year, let’s hope all your dreams come true.’

  ‘And yours, Daise,’ Anna said, waiting until she was in the car and driving away before she went back to Freddie standing in the hall waving his godmother away.

  ‘Will it take long to get to Scotland?’ Freddie asked.

  ‘Yes, it is a long way, but she should be there by the afternoon,’ Anna said as they shut the front door.

  She finished cooking her nibbles for Lucy and Colin’s party, tiny quiches and some honey and spiced nuts, while Freddie played with his toys in the living room. She was looking forward to the party; she hadn’t been to many New Year’s Eve parties since Freddie was born, and he was excited too. It was a good thing she’d brought a pretty dress with her on the off chance that she’d need it.

  The doorbell rang, followed by a quick rap on the door, and when she opened it, there was Nell, who worked in the office just along from the flat, smiling. ‘Hi, Anna, I’ve come with an invitation and a message from Julius.’

  ‘Oh, come in out of the cold,’ Anna said, seeing she had no coat on, though she was wearing a thick jersey and a woolly scarf. ‘Would you like a coffee?’

  ‘Thanks, I can’t stay, there’s so much to do,’ Nell said. ‘You and Freddie are going to Lucy and Colin’s, aren’t you?’ And without waiting for an answer, she went on, ‘you’re both welcome to join Tessa and me, we give a small drinks party here in the castle to start the evening off.’

  ‘That’s so kind, thank you, we’d love to come,’ Anna said, thinking it was going to be a busy evening.

/>   ‘Good, 6.30 onwards, the next door along. It will be on the latch, come in and come straight upstairs.’

  ‘Thank you.’

  Nell, seeing Freddie coming into the kitchen, said how relieved she was that Felix had found Ozzie. ‘Small animals, especially pets, are unused to fending for themselves in the wild and they are in great danger if they escape,’ Nell said before remembering the other reason she was here, so she thankfully didn’t elaborate on a gruesome death story of some pet in front of him. ‘Julius told me to say that… well, you know there is a wedding here in a few days, and you don’t have to do it, but Philly and Sidney always like to, so if you want to come along and lurk about among the guests just to make sure nothing gets nicked or bashed up somehow.’

  ‘Come to the wedding?’ Anna was surprised.

  ‘Yes, we mingle with the guests to keep an eye on things. This wedding is an older couple, so hopefully nothing bad will happen, but some of the younger ones can get quite drunk, pick up ornaments and things or knock against the furniture or pictures, and once,’ her eyes goggled with shocked delight and, seeing Freddie had gone back to the living room, she said quietly, ‘two people – not the bride and groom – were found having sex in one of the bedrooms.’

  ‘Oh… goodness.’

  ‘Don’t worry, that only happened once… that we know of anyway.’ She patted Anna’s arm as if she had shocked her. ‘You don’t have to do it if you don’t want to, but Julius said to ask you. I mean, you might not have the right clothes as you didn’t know you could be attending a wedding, but I’m sure someone could lend you something if you wanted to come, the rooms are so beautiful, all lit up with their wonderful pictures and furniture and Gail’s lovely flower arrangements. It’s a sight you won’t forget.’

  ‘It must be so glamorous.’ Anna felt a little shy at the suggestion and yet it would be madness to turn down such a chance to see the castle in all its glory. She’d brought one smart, silk dress with her ‘in case’, as her mother would say, and she was going to wear it tonight. It was a simple well-cut dress, which could be dressed up or down, and was right for almost any invitation.

  ‘Well, think on it,’ Nell said kindly. ‘We’ll all be there for the wedding, so we probably have enough people if you don’t want to come, but you won’t feel alone and I’m sure Lucy would look after Freddie for you.’ She smiled at him as he came back into the hall holding one of his Lego creations.

  ‘I’m sleeping in Benny’s room tonight as Mum will be up till midnight,’ Freddie said. ‘I helped do the trees for the wedding and if it’s all night you can go, Mum, if you want. I’ll be all right with Benny.’

  ‘We must ask Lucy and Colin first, see if they can have you,’ Anna said, then turning to Nell, she said, ‘if they can have Freddie, I’d love to come to the wedding. It wasn’t something I was expecting, but of course I’ll be happy to do it.’

  ‘Lovely, I’ll let you know more about it later,’ Nell said, going back outside into the cold. ‘Look forward to seeing you both tomorrow too.’

  ‘I wish we could always live here,’ Freddie threw her a look. ‘I can go outside whenever I want to and stay with Benny and there are so many friendly people about.’

  ‘Yes, there are, but you know we are only here for another couple of weeks and it’s Daisy’s aunt and uncle’s home and they’ll be back to live in it. You’ve got lots of friends at home.’

  ‘I know, but I think I like it better here,’ he said, going back to his game, leaving her feeling despondent.

  Twenty-Five

  The following evening, Anna put on her dress for the New Year’s party, or parties as they had two to go to, an elegant dress in a rich green silk, with a slightly full skirt that came just below her knee and her hair fell thick and shining on her shoulders. She wore a green necklace of twisted glass Gary had given her. She held it in her hand a moment remembering they’d been in Spain on holiday and he’d bought it from a young woman who made the jewellery herself and sold it from her stall in the marketplace. He’d put it round her neck and kissed her. It was the last thing he’d given her before he died and she wore it often.

  Freddie needed help with his shirt buttons, which diverted her thoughts. He was spruced up and smart in his long trousers and checked shirt, new jersey and duffle coat, which she insisted Freddie wore, even though they were only going a few yards to Tessa and Nell’s office, as the evening was damp and cold.

  The small, wooden door to Tessa and Nell’s was slightly open and they could hear the buzz of chatter as they went upstairs to join the party.

  Luke was already there, and Freddie greeted him ecstatically and the two of them began ribbing each other. Anna hoped Freddie wouldn’t get too excited and noisy, as he seemed to be the only child there.

  They were in a small, rather cluttered room. Hanging on the walls were beautiful coloured photographs of the castle and the gardens in all seasons. There were a couple of much-worn but comfy-looking armchairs pushed to the side and a television set and, through an open door, Anna saw a couple of desks at each side of the room and bookcases on the walls and various filing cabinets. A collection of wine bottles and a jug of something stood on one desk and Tessa and a man she didn’t know were doing the rounds filling glasses.

  She felt a little shy at first, but Tessa introduced her to various people, and soon enough some familiar faces arrived; Simon was closely followed by Cathie, and Jenny wasn’t far behind.

  Simon made his way over. ‘You look so glamorous tonight.’ He appraised her with a smile, making her blush and a feeling of warmth seep through her.

  ‘Well… thank you, we are all dolled up tonight,’ she said, thinking how attractive he looked in his well-cut suit.

  Cathie, sensing their exchange, came over and began to talk earnestly to Simon about another party she’d been invited to. ‘It’s open house so you can come with me if you like,’ she said eagerly.

  Before he could answer her, Gail, who did the flowers for castle events, joined them and was introduced to Anna and soon the conversation became dominated by the flower arrangements for the wedding.

  ‘I’d love to find some of that ivy with black berries, that’ll look good against the red holly berries. Have you seen any around?’ She smiled at Simon as if she were asking him something far more intimate.

  ‘I’ve seen some, I think,’ Cathie pushed in, ‘We were there the other day, Simon, that bottom field.’

  Simon frowned, ‘I can’t remember, but we’ll look out for some for you, Gail.’

  Luke was brought into the conversation and Freddie was now with the two little girls he’d met at the Christmas lunch.

  Simon moved closer to Anna, saying quietly, ‘It’s great that your friend came to stay, not that she was here long. Might she… or others come here?’

  Anna guessed that his question held more than just an effort to make small talk; he wanted to know if or when Daisy might return. She was nudged with jealousy, which she quickly dismissed. Daisy was beautiful, warm and fun and had always attracted men, though she somehow always chose the wrong ones.

  ‘I don’t know. She works in art restoration and is about to start on a huge job restoring a painting. The church and hall in this part of the village was barely covered with water, so she probably won’t be able to take much time off, but she might come back on a weekend when Philly and Sidney are back from the US, to hear about their trip.’

  ‘Of course, they are her relatives, I’d forgotten, I haven’t seen her here before, but then I hardly ever come up to the castle after the winter as I work more on the land, there’s a small farm as well as all these grounds and gardens which keep me busy.’ He studied the red wine in his glass as if it were of the utmost importance. Anna waited for him to say more. He was obviously attracted to Daisy, which could be bad news for Cathie, but even if Daisy was attracted to him nothing might come of it as she lived a busy life in London.

  Before they could continue with his line of questi
oning Julius joined them.

  ‘Did you get all the presents you wanted for Christmas, Freddie?’ Julius asked, smiling at him as he bounded up to them.

  ‘I had a great Christmas, but I didn’t get all I wanted, not quite,’ Freddie answered solemnly before Anna had had a chance to step in.

  ‘You got so many lovely things, Freddie,’ Anna said, her voice coming out quite stern as if to warn him to take care what he said.

  Julius, glancing at her in surprise at her tone, asked him, ‘What didn’t you quite get that you wanted, Freddie?’

  And before Anna could divert the conversation, Freddie said, ‘I wanted a dad for Christmas, but I haven’t got one yet.’

  Anna said quickly, ‘Freddie, we’ve talked about this, it’s not something we can buy or just find, it will take time.’ She was swamped by embarrassment, unable to meet their gaze, ‘I… I think it’s time we went on to Lucy and Colin’s house, I’m sure Benny will have to go to bed soon and we mustn’t keep him up.’

  Cathie was visibly shocked and moved closer to Simon as if Anna might commandeer him to take on the role as a father for Freddie.

  Freddie, sensing the sudden interest in him, went on loudly, ‘I haven’t got a dad – well, Mum said I had a wonderful one, but he got in a dangerous taxi and got killed before I was born.’ There was a hushed silence, and before Anna could steer him away, he went on, ‘I would like one though. I’ve got Uncle Robert, but he’s got two boys already, but he’d be a sort of dad if I wanted, but I just want one of my own.’

  He stood there small and resolute while Anna bit back tears. She turned away, her arm round Freddie, trying to head towards the door.

  Julius was beside her and said, ‘Anna, I’m so very sorry, but please don’t leave until you want to.’

  ‘I think it best if we leave now,’ she said, struggling not to cry.

  Julius took a large handkerchief from his pocket, handed it to her as he gently took her arm and steered her and Freddie towards the door.